TNA PPV#2 - Crowning an X Division Champion

by redreddington on 3rd March, 3:48pm

Show #2 opens with a recap of the story of Jeff Jarrett from last week from being put in position number one, choking Fargo backstage, pushing Toby Keith,. to being eliminated by Keith.

Don West's attire has levelled up to a blue Hawaiian number, as we go to the announce table so that Total Nonstop Action can't even get started. The no sense department of booking the first X-Division champion will be crowned in a round robin tournament featuring: AJ Styles, Low Ki, Jerry Lynn and Psicosis. All four of these men lost their matches on last week's show so they must be championship material.

Jeff Jarrett comes out to take on Scott Hall, good thing the plucky heel comes down to the ring first to call out the three babyfaces: Hall accompanied by Keith and Fargo. We'll gloss over the fact that the contest was announced before Jarrett "spontaneously" came down to the ring. Hall opens the contest with a toothpick to the face and West sells it like it's a finisher. Jeff gets a bit of offence before Hall drops him with a couple of punches at each turn. Jarrett locks on a sleeper and for some reason the camera cuts to everything but the action as Hall goes down.

Hall goes for the Razor's Edge and K-Krush runs down to pull Jarrett off, K-Krush then decks Scott Hall, Fargo gets a shot in on Krush before Brian Christopher runs down to make the save. None of this is a disqualification as the referee abandons the match to get some order outside the ring. Meanwhile inside the ring Jarrett sets up for the Stroke and Toby Keith low blows Jarrett before double teaming him face first to the mat. Slick Johnson slides in the ring and counts the three with Toby Keith standing there.

Thank god the three faces outnumbered and screwed the babyface, I know this usually happens in professional wrestling but it rarely happens in the first match of a feud.

A good match by all standards that the crowd was hot for but we cut away straight away for a replay of last week's pull apart brawl for the Lingerie Battle Royal.

Back to live action and oh dear lord it's Cheex. You know how the Big Show is billed as being 500lbs and Rikishi is like 395lbs etc. They decide to bill Cheex at 402lbs, which Ed Ferrera quite wittily questions "is that just one of his legs?". For those who don't know Cheex is the reason that the whole first show of TNA fell apart, he broke the ring in the dark match for the show so the whole thing had to be put back together whilst the announcers stalled for time.

Tenay runs down Cheex's opponent: Frank Parker. I'm not going to, no matter what happens this is a squash match inbound in every way. Apparently due to the Jarrett screwjob we're going to see Brian Christopher and Scott Hall vs. K-Krush and Jarrett next week. Whilst we get a run of fat jokes from jokes from Ed Ferrera we must detract away from the action to see Alicia demanding money from Jeremy Borash. Meanwhile Cheex picks up a pinfall over Frank Parker as Mike Tenay demands to know what is going on.

We get a recap of the exhilarating segment with Hermie Sadler, Sterling Marlin and K-Krush. You know what's better than having one match where a heel has to face a babyface with two people in his corner? It's having TWO matches with exactly the same stipulations.

This match features the two entrance themes that got the least effort from Dale Oliver. It wouldn't be too bad if it wasn't for the fact that both songs sound like that keyboard loop rhythm where you're supposed to freestyle over the top and no one's bothered. So yes once again it's two guys at ringside for the face Brian Christopher against the heel K-Krush. The commentary of course turns to whether or not NASCAR is a sport and whether the two men at ringside are athletes. Back and forth action which eventually leads to K-Krush trying to go to the outside and the two NASCAR guys grabbing the middle rope and crotching Krush over and over. Of course NO DQ. Christopher hits the Hip Hop Drop from the top rope and Brian Christopher gets the win.

It's now time for the Lingerie Battle Royal. The girls come out what could best be described as old women's pyjamas. Jeremy Borash eventually just gives up trying to announce the women. Now we've been promised at this point that eight women will be stripped to their underthings so of course the whole thing breaks down into a catfight. The girls get eliminated far too quickly for anyone to keep track really. Eventually Francine is eliminated and starts breaking down which results in Ed Ferrara leaving the table to cop a feel on Francine. Francine drops down to her knees, unbuckles Ed's belt and then kicks him in the dick before whipping him with the belt.

Meanwhile three other women have been eliminated, oh I should mention that this is for a contract with the company. And Taylor Vaughn wins but before she can celebrate she gets stripped and whipped by Francine. I'm not sure what was achieved here but many lonely men were probably left disappointed.

We go backstage to Goldilocks who is with Apollo, but never mind that we have two people who we've never seen on the show before interrupting the segment. Apparently the woman in black is Bobcat (dressed like Sable from WWE) who says that Goldie should be interview "him" because "he's" the "next biggest superstar of TNA" so big that we don't actually get to know who he is (it's David Young future holder of the longest losing streak in TNA).

Out comes Apollo anyway to take on David Young accompanied by Bobcat. You wouldn't know there was a match because much of the commentary and camera work is focused on Bobcat who does about five or six laps of the ring and she starts stripping Jeremy Borash.

How can we concerntrate on what's going on in the ring when we have to watch this nonsense at ringside - Mike Tenay

Young hits his spinebuster finish gets distracted by his valet's flirting and then eats a superkick and TKO to be pinned by Apollo. So we've just been introduced to these characters and the storyline is they don't get along.

Back to the ring and Joel Gertner is on the mic. Joel brings up that the Rainbow Express, the team he's managing, is a homosexual gimmick team and brings up the valid point that there are lots of people with alternative lifestyles that enjoy better lives than most normal people. They're the heels by the way.

The Rainbow Express are scheduled to face the Dupps and we cut to the back where the Dupps are refusing to wrestle so instead the new tag team of Chris Harris and James Storm are sent out in their street gear. Storm somehow manages to take his shirt off and leave his cowboy hat on. We get some homosexual antics and awkward homophobic remarks from face colour commentator Don West. Harris and Storm win with a rollup.

We go back to the ring and Ricky Steamboat is in the ring still wearing the referee shirt from last week apparently, Steamboat introduces Ken Shamrock who won the title last week. Ken Shamrock claims to be a fighting a champion which brings out Father James Mitchell who basically claims that Malice is more dangerous than Shamrock. Malice sneaks in from behind and chokeslams Shamrock laying him in the middle of the ring. Next week it's going to be Malice vs. Shamrock for the title.

We get to see the highlights from the six man tag from last week to hype up the X Division Round Robin tournament. Two men will start off in the ring the other two outside, when you win a fall or submission the other man rolls out of the ring and the next man enters. You have to be pinned or made to submit twice to be eliminated from the match.

I think it must be mandatory for any TNA Championship to be initially won in the most complicated rule system. Tenay defends the decision to put last week's losers in this match by saying that the brackets had already been filled, which is fine but why book them to lose? Psicosis and AJ to start with Low Ki and Jerry Lynn on the outside. Styles hits the Styles Clash and picks up the first fall which sends in Low Ki. Some great back and forth from Ki and Styles but Styles picks up the victory sending in Lynn. Lynn hooks up the Cradle Piledriver and Styles goes down for the three count.

Lynn essentially showcases himself as the guy to beat eliminating both Psicosis and Low Ki with the Cradle Piledriver. Tenay earlier pointed out that Ricky Steamboat is out at ringside so that when it comes down to the final two men Steamboat will be the referee. Well it's down to AJ with one fall against him and Lynn with none so Lynn could get the deciding pinfall here, but instead Scott Armstrong gets in the ring?! Oh that's because AJ is going to bring it up to one all with a Styles Clash.

Now Steamboat comes into referee "this exemplifies the importance of this contest" says Mike Tenay (worth remembering this for later on in TNA). The two men exchange back and forth pinfalls before the action spills to the outside of the ring. I'll be honest despite all the confusion and poor booking, the actual match and commentary are all on point. Lynn comes across as a controlled veteran and AJ Styles comes across as the reckless rookie willing to do anything to win. The roles make sense, the action is great and the commentators are putting it over.

Lynn hits a big superplex but only gets two, sets up Styles in the opposite corner for a second one but Styles pushes him off climbs to the top turnbuckle and hits the Spiral Tap for the three count. The crowd goes nuts, the commentators go nuts, pyro goes off, confetti falls from the ceiling. Remember the previous week when TNA crowned Ken Shamrock as the new champion and we got thirty seconds of pyro before we had to cut to the back for Jarrett to come out.

"Remember the name ladies and gentlemen: AJ Styles. The future of our sport has arrived." - Mike Tenay