“CONNECTICUT FEARS NASHVILLE” is the first thing on camera this week as the camera pans around the TNA Asylum. AJ Styles “I am” music hits and we’re kicking off with the Jerry Lynn vs. AJ Styles two out of three falls. Tenay highlights in the first two months of TNA AJ Styles has gone from being a double champion to having neither. Lynn has inherited AJ’s “Born in the USA” music. AJ attempts a baseball slide but Lynn turns it into a wheelbarrow dropping AJ throat first on the guard rail to kick things off.
AJ Styles vs. Jerry Lynn
Two out of Three Matches: 1st Match
This is two out of three matches. The first match is falls count anywhere, and later tonight we’ll have a no disqualification match and then if it’s still tied up we’ll have a ten minute ironman match as the rubber. Don West says “this feud has been going on for so long I don’t even remember who started it”.
Match starts with brawling on the outside, before spilling out into the crowd and up into the bleachers. Crowd is hot for the opener as they make their way back to the ringside Lynn suplexing AJ to the floor outside from over the barrier. Both men find themselves back in the ring. Series of reversals from Styles’ moonsault DDT and Lynn hits a stunner to some mild boos.
Hurricarana to the outside by Styles to Lynn only gets a two count. Styles scoop slams Lynn on the top of the ramp. Styles goes for a discus clothesline but gets speared by Lynn. Lynn hits a bulldog off the stage onto the dancing girl’s platform for a two. Back on the ramp Styles tries for a Cradle Piledriver but gets backdropped by Lynn who follows up with his own Cradle Piledriver on the ramp for the three.
Lynn points at Styles and we go to the dancing girls before heading to the back with Goldy. She with Cowboy James Storm and a smoking Chris Harris (that’s smoking a cigarette). Goldy remarks how it’s been a long time since they’ve appeared on the show and how tonight they are set to face Ron Harris and Brian Lee. Storm barely says the word “buckaroo” before Harris calls a stop to the interview. Harris asks if he could drop the “John Wayne crap” and suggests that the only reason they’ve not been booked is because of Storm’s gimmick. Brian and Ron show up and Brian asks “do you know what it feels like to have a size 16 boot stuck up your ass?”. Storm retorts with some cowboy stuff before Brian tells Harris to find a new partner. Harris walks off apparently in disbelief this man is his partner.
Ron Harris and “Primetime” Brian Lee vs. “Wildcat” Chris Harris and “Cowboy” James Storm
Four big lads in this match, and a lot of screaming for Harris and Storm. Tenay points out that after the finish of the main event last week that the NWA is working on a plan to crown new Tag Team Champions and could be announced as soon as next week.
Lee and Storm to start off, power advantage goes to Lee who takes down Storm a couple of times. Storm ducks a clothesline in the corner and gets a series of right hands, a middle finger, and another few right hands before bailing Lee to the outside. This sends (Ron) Harris in who is met with an axe-handle from (Chris) Harris leaving Storm and (Chris) Harris on the inside, Lee and (Ron) Harris on the outside.
Chris is now legal against Lee who tags in Ron, making me realise that the brackets were a bad idea. Chris gets two arm drags and the crowd goes wild for them. Even Tenay gets in on the Harris vs. Harris joke as a series of corner to corner clotheslines from Ron. An assist from Chris as Storm hits a splash to the outside. Ron back in and Chris hits a tilt-a-whirl headscissors, he tries the same on an interfering Lee who turns it into a tombstone.
Lee isn’t legal but goes for a cover for two before tagging in Ron. Ron and Brian cut the ring off double teaming Chris Harris. Wildcat breaks out a sleeper with a Thesz Press (apparently Chris calls it the Cat Attack), Lee breaks out of it with a blatant low blow in front of the referee. Tenay even calls it. Brian tosses Chris to the outside and the double team continues; big boot from Ron and Brian attempts a nonchalant one hand cover for a two count.
Wildcat with a bulldog and hot tags Storm, Storm takes out both guys sending Brian Lee to the outside. The camera stays on Brian Lee because he gets grabbed by a fan who Brian then vault the fan over the guard rail and starts beating him up. This is enough of a distraction for Ron to get hung up on the top rope and rolled up by Storm for the win. Ron immediately gets up and goes over to Brian Lee to stop him from beating up the fan. Harris and Storm celebrate for ten seconds before they are double teamed from both in front and behind by the losing team.
We go to ringside, Mike Tenay says we’re going to get the answer to so many questions. I can’t focus on them because there’s a sign that reads: “GOLDYLOCK’S FAVOURITE CHOCOLATE MAN JUST WANTS TO SPANK ME”. OK then. I will cycle back up to this point mid way through the show to mention Don is in a red velvet number.
Sonny Siaki vs. Jimmy Yang
Two out of Three Falls
Sonny Siaki is out first still wearing his Elvis gear. Tenay says “we all predicted bright futures for the Elvises”. Jimmy Yang is coming out accompanied by Jorge Estrada. Siaki tries to jump start the match with a clothesline but Yang ducks and hits a heel kick, and both Estrada and Yang pose.
Jimmy gets into a dance cage with one of the girls for a little jiving. This is two out of three falls with two out of three Elvises. Jimmy dominates on the outside for a bit before bringing things into the ring. Jimmy continues to take control with a series of dropkicks. Tenay flat out states Jimmy is going to be on the same card as Bill Goldberg in a couple of weeks in AJPW; which is stunningly true Goldberg had a stint in AJPW before signing with WWE. Siaki takes control with a innovative TKO-esque move.
Jimmy hits the Yang Time (a moonsault corkscrew) to get the three for the first fall. Siaki throws Jimmy to the outside and an irish whip sends Jimmy flying over the barricade. Siaki brings the match back into the ring but only picks up a two. Siaki locks in a headlock, Jimmy breaks out but Siaki cuts him off. Siaki hooks in a pumphandle and the communication breaks down as Siaki falls back for a pumphandle throw but Jimmy jumps as though Siaki was going to lift him.
We get mention of the WCW Powerplant, so if you’re playing the “mention companies that aren’t TNA” bingo that’s two. Siaki gets a two count off a snap leg drop. Yang with a heel kick flying off the middle row to Siaki. Siaki blocks a suplex attempt and hits him with a corkscrew neckbreaker (The Money Clip) and picks up the second fall.
Siaki with a backbreaker across his own shoulder. Siaki almost gets a three but Jimmy gets a foot on the rope. Jimmy slides through for a Lance Storm single leg crab but Siaki gets the rope break. Yang gets a spinning toe hold and then a knee ba, but again Siaki reaches for the rope. Siaki to his feet and places Yang on the top rope for a second rope superplex but Yang gets to his feet and hits a shining wizard to Siaki.
Yang breaks out of clothesline with a corkscrew. Yang tries for a hurricarana but gets vaulted back face first into the top turnbuckle by Siaki. Siaki climbs to the top but gets crotched, both men on the top rope for a swinging neckbreaker off the top rope. Both men get back to their feet Yang gets a small package but only gets two. Estrada is on the apron arguing with the referee as Yang rolls up Siaki who reverses the pile awkwardly and grabs the middle rope for leverage as the referee counts three and Yang shoots a shoulder up.
Siaki wins and the Elvises music plays for about five seconds before Jarrett comes out and says “cut the damn music” it takes about three or four times before it happens. Jarrett is wearing lilac this week, Jeff complains about losing his title shots to Tenay but then gets jumped by Brian Lawler who slams Jeff face first into the table. The blackshirts come out to break up the brawl and we get a pull apart to the chants of “Jerry’s Kid”. Goldy is in the ring with Brian to find out what’s going on.
Lawler is breathing so hard Goldy’s fringe is blowing about. Goldy asks: “what did Jeff Jarrett do to piss you off this bad, to push you over the edge?” Brian takes the mic and tells Goldy to get out of the ring, he asks the crowd “do you want to know what Jeff Jarrett did?” and then proclaims “I’m about to tell the world right now what Jeff Jarrett did.” Of course this is the cue for Slash of the New Church to attack Lawler from behind. A referee slides into the ring and calls for the bell.
Slash vs. Brian Lawler
Don West informs us they were scheduled for a match tonight and both commentators despair that we were so close to finding out. Slash throws Lawler to the outside for some more brawling. Slash pulls up a mat to expose the concrete and gets backdropped onto it by Lawler.
West says “who do you root for in this match?” Good question both men are heels, apparently. Brian takes control and double birds the crowd before clotheslining Slash out to the ramp, Brian hits a bulldog on the ramp to Slash. We get a repeat of the spot with the same woman who refuses to give Brian a chair. Lawler gets caught on the top rope and superplexed by Slash for a two count.
The crowd starts chanting “April” as Slash hits the Slash and Burn whirlybird to Lawler for a two count. Lawler floats over for DDT and then starts dancing, hits a enziguri. Slash goes for something but gets low blowed, Brian then gets lowblowed both of these in front of the referee. Slash gets pushed off the top rope and Brian Lawler hits the Tennessee Jam leg drop for the three. But we don’t get much focus as it’s to the back!
The audio is all fucked and Jarrett and Bullet Bob are arguing about something. Time for the NWA X Division Championship.
NWA X Division Championship
Four Way Elimination - Joel Maximo vs. Jose Maximo vs. Amazing Red vs. Low Ki (c)
All of Low Ki’s challengers come out together followed by Low Ki in white. Low Ki immediately turns the numbers game against the others and the team turns in on itself. OK so apparently it’s corners elimination match as Ki and Red start the match off.
The match eventually settles down to where the Maximos keep Low Ki isolated in the ring, however they both eventually get reversed into the same corner and Tidal Crushed by Low Ki. Red then blind tags Ki and goes for the cover to only get two allowing Ki to blind tag back in. The Maximos and Red triple team Low Ki with Red delivering a double stomp into hurricanrana vaulting off Low Ki’s back.
A reverse slingshot neckbreaker by the Maximos sends Low Ki to the outside and the three brothers have a stand off in the ring. Red takes out both of the brothers with a hurricanrana from the top rope on one Maximo off the apron onto the other. Low Ki takes advantage and hooks Red up for a Ki-Krusher and then opts to just throw Red over the top rope on the Maximos. Low Ki with a Phoenix Splash to the outside and all four men are on the outside.
Still no eliminations and everyone’s lost track of who is supposed to be legal. One of the Maximos hits Red with a double wrist clutch powerbomb facebuster goes for the cover, but it gets broken up... in an elimination match?! Double underhook piledriver to his own brother and Jose has been eliminated.
Low Ki just straight kicks Joel in the face multiple times. Amazing Red hits a tornado DDT and the Infra Red to eliminate Joel and we’re down to Red and Low Ki. Red goes for the Code Red but gets flung into the turnbuckles by Low Ki. Low Ki hooks in the Ki Krusher climbs to the second rope, but Red escapes. Red climbs up top for a hurricarana Ki turns it around into an avalanche Ki Krusher. Ki hooks the leg for the three count.
Tenay puts over the match and the fact Ki has gone through two sets of three teams in two weeks. We geet some dancing from the cage girls and go to the back!
Goldie is with The Truth, Goldie doesn’t really ask a question just states that he and Monty Brown have history. Truth says Monty “should be out here kissing my black ass”. Truth claims that Abe Lincoln freed the slaves and 150 years later he freed the African American Sports Entertainers. He finishes up his promo by saying “I’ll see you in the Asylum.”
We got back to ringside for a shot of “notable fitness model April Hunter” who accepted the open challenge from “Miss TNA” Bruce for the $5000 next week. We get the graphic for the NWA World Heavyweight Championship and it would appear that it’s Monte Brown, as we see Truth has the experience advantage but gives size and weight to Monte.
NWA World Heavyweight Championship
The Truth (c) vs. Monte Brown
Abyss’ music hits and out comes Monte. Monte is full of intensity and looks jacked. Truth is out next. Tenay puts over the elites of professional wrestling who have held the belt at this point only thirty six people have held the title. Some jaw jacking to start and a lockup showing that Monte has the power advantage.
Fist fight early on, couple of shoulder blocks send Truth down to the mat. Truth low bridges Monte sending him out on to the ramp. Truth dives to the outside taking out Monte, then sends Brown head first into the steps and the announce desk. Brown and Truth on top of the announce table as Brown breaks out and calls for an Alpha Bomb on the table. Truth rakes the eyes and the two move away from the table. Brown hits an overhead belly to belly on the floor and both men are down.
Monte brings the action back into the ring. Truth drives Brown face first and head to the top and delivers a big leg drop but only for a two. We get some talk about Jeff Jarrett, Brian Lawler and Ken Shamrock wanting a shot. The crowd isn’t really into either guy at this point. Suplex by Monte and we get a double down, both men up at six. Brown hits a running powerslam and a big splash for a two. Truth hits his signature split dodge for a clothesline and the spinning axe kick but only finds two.
Brown gets Truth up for the Alpha Bomb, Truth fights out of it and goes for the Consequences Ace Crusher Brown pushes out. Brown catches Truth in the Alpha Bomb but Truth rolls through for a sunset flip pin to get the three.
Borash barely announces the winner before Jarrett is in the ring with a chair. He takes out the ref and Monte Brown, before aiming at the Truth. Truth blocks the attempt and the two exchange blows. Brian Lawler comes down and attacks Jarrett and suddenly all three are taking shots. Truth holds Jarrett and Brian swings and hits Truth. Jarrett rolls out of the ring and security comes down to separate Jarrett and Lawler.
We almost go to the back, but Goldie’s not ready so we go to the dancing girls. We go to the back with Goldie and Jerry Lynn. Lynn says that he has one advantage over AJ and it’s knowledge which is AJ’s cue to start attacking Lynn.
AJ Styles vs. Jerry Lynn
Two out of Three Matches: 2nd Match
Well why not this match is No Disqualification so they decide to kick this off. The winner of this series will be the number one contender to Low Ki’s X Division Championship. Lynn fetches a table from under the ring and sets it up on the outside. Lynn tries a sunset flip through the table but Styles blocks it. Despite there clearly being a table in play the crowd is chanting for tables. Lynn grabs a chair brings it into the ring but Styles sweeps the legs sending the chair into Lynn’s face and then delivers a leg drop.
Styles wedges the chair into the top and middle rope – now this is clearly shown on the hard camera, but we get a clean cut to this shot of it wedged. Not really necessary. Fan holding up a sign that reads I HAVE A PENIS on the hard cam. Series of dodges into the chair before Lynn hits a catapult into the chair. The crowd is still chanting for the table.
It’s about five minutes into this match that Tenay reminds us what the current score is. See if you can remember. Jerry 1 – AJ 0. Lynn hits the leg drop counter to the shoulder block on AJ, Lynn climbs to the top rope and goes for a tornado DDT through the table but Styles blocks it. Styles tries for a corkscrew crossbody but barely catches Lynn with a foot and the crowd chants “you fucked up”. Styles gets the chair and sets it down in the middle of the ring, both men take a double clothesline onto the chair.
Sick chairshot to the head by AJ who hangs onto the steel chair to break up a sunset flip attempt by Lynn. Styles swings and misses and Lynn dropkicks the chair back into his face for a two count. The crowd chanting for the table still.
Lynn attempts a top rope draping DDT onto the chair, misses, goes for the cover and pulls Styles up at two. Puts Styles on the top rope near the table but AJ fights back sending Lynn back to the apron. Lynn crotches AJ on the top rope, switches AJ to the outside and hurricanranas Styles off the top rope through the table to the floor. This was ugly looking, AJ barely hit the centre and both men look legit out. Lynn gets AJ back in the ring only for a two.
Lynn puts AJ on top and goes for corner mount Styles slips out into a powerbomb, Lynn attempts a rana reversal but Styles hooks in the Styles Clash on to the chair for three. AJ’s music plays for three second and we go straight into the 10 minute ironman match.
AJ Styles vs. Jerry Lynn
Two out of Three Matches: 3rd Match
Straight out of the gate AJ pins Lynn at around 13 seconds into the match and then again 20 seconds into the match. AJ goes for the third but Lynn gets the shoulder up.
Lynn reverses AJ’s neckbreaker suplex with a neckbreaker of his own but only gets two. AJ then locks in a sleeper. Tenay and Don are putting over the length of this feud as well as the prize at stake.
Lynn picks up a pinfall off a facebuster putting this 2-1 at around six minutes. Styles flies dick first onto the top turnbuckle and crashes and burns. Lynn follows up with a leg drop but only gets a two. Styles hooks a splash mountain into a facebuster and there’s some confusion as referee Andrew Thomas counts three but Lynn kicks out taking Styles 3-1.
At two minutes Low Ki comes out to the stage with a ladder. Lynn hits a tombstone picking up another fall bringing it to 3-2. Lynn goes for a piledriver but Styles wriggles free but Lynn locks in a Styles Clash for the three making it three a piece.
The last few seconds of the contest is a series of near falls resulting in a draw to mild boos. Low Ki slides into the ring, he picks both men up and raises their arms before kicking both men in the face. The crowd loves this and chants “Low Ki” despite Tenay calling this disrespectful.
Ki grabs a mic declaring “if it’s a title match you want, it’s a title match you’ll get” and they’ll be playing by his rules in a triple ladder match for the title. “All you can do is be ready”.
We go back to the announce table for Don West to hype up next week’s show:
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Triple Threat Ladder Match for the X Division Title: Low Ki (c) vs. AJ Styles vs. Jerry Lynn
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(hilariously Don asks Tenay “have you ever heard of anything like this” and Tenay has to pretend this has never happened before [in the NWA])
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We go to the back! Goldie is with referee Scott Armstrong who is apparently outside his dad’s door trying to convince him to not fight Jarrett. Scott consistently tells Goldie to get out of the way. Apparently Bullet Bob Armstrong is going to be wearing padding to come out to face Armstrong.
Jarrett comes out, gets a mic and demands the surprise. Some generic music hits and out comes a man in a mask and singlet. Jeff is convinced this is Bullet Bob... and Jarrett hits him from behind throwing him into the ring. Jarrett puts the boots into the masked man and prepares to give him The Stroke. The Bullet fights back clotheslining Jarrett over the top rope. Jarrett can’t believe it and then turns around seeing the actual Bullet Bob on the ramp.
TWO BOBS?! What can this mean... you’ll have to wait until next week.
This
review is nearly 4,000 words. At the time of writing my dad sat down
and said these were longer than the feature articles in the
broadsheet newspapers. These shows are honestly this long and I’m
barely documenting the actual action in the ring.
This show was two hours but felt like five. The problem here was everything was too needlessly complicated. Why did Siaki and Yang need to be two out of three falls? Why did the X Division match have to be a four corner elimination? Why did Styles need to have two matches to then have an ironman match go to a draw?
This show is largely nothing. The AJ/Lynn matches are good but I didn’t need three of them. The Low Ki vs. The S.A.T. was great but I didn’t need it to be a fourway elimination. The one good thing I can say about this show is the World Title Match got some time and had a clean finish, but it’s largely an after thought when everyone is concerned about “what’s Jeff Jarrett doing?” the stuff with Lawler and Bullet Bob; Jeff has two storylines going on right now that he doesn’t need.
This is one to skip, not because it’s bad but it’s just boring.